I HATE SPIDERMAN!!!

I have two little boys that are absolutely obsessed with spiderman, as in we watch this movie at least once a day EVERYDAY (for at least the last month).... I HATE SPIDERMAN...

1. When you think of spiderman.... you think TOBY MAGUIRE? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? They couldn't find any one else or they just couldn't afford anyone else? Was peewee herman busy? I would have preferred pee wee... And seriously were you not paying TOBY MAGUIRE enough to STOP MUMBLING? He mumbled the entire way through the movie I mean seriously if you are geting paid to speak and act onscreen LEARN HOW TO SPEAK CLEARLYI mean i can understand having a mask on and not speaking clearly but the whole way through the movie?

2. KIRSTEN DUNST??? FOR REAL??? SHE IS SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE PRETTY GIRL EVERYONE WANTS? WHERE DID THEY GO TO SCHOOL? There must have been an aweful lot of ugly girls in their school growing up to think kirsten dunst could pull that off. She's weird looking to say the least.... and her acting please.... I think her one line from spiderman explains it all "a soap opera told me i needed acting lessons" YES YOU DO NEED SOME SERIOUS ACTING LESSONS, and some plastic surgery wouldnt hurt, buy yourself some lips and some boobs at least make yourself semi interesting to look at not just scary... I think the only grown up role she played that I believed her in was Crazy/beautiful cuz she just pulls off skanky and dirty way to well. I haven't liked her since Interview With a Vampire I think that was the last year she was considered cute.

I wonder what Willem Dafoe was thinking when they cast Toby and Kirsten... "I get cast as the crazy guy who talks to himself the whole time and the HERO is TOBY MAGUIRE? FOR REAL How do the bad guy not win in this movie?" They better had been paying Willem double for having to work with all those horrible actors/actresses...\

3. If I ever talked to my dad like Peter Parker talked to his uncle right before he was killed My butt wouldn't have been getting out of the car going to do whatever i wanted, my butt would have been home geting yelled at about disrespect and probably would have been grounded for a while....

4. How can no one know who spider man really is? I mean he hits the jock of the school in the back with a tray of food connected to his hands by a web in the middle of the school cafeteria and then he suddenly because strong and beats the crap out of the jock guy (names flash... seriously that's another vent all in itself), around that same time he competes in a wrestling match with tons of people around, and that same night he kills the man who killed his uncle.... hmmmm. AND NO ONE CAN TIE PETER PARKER TO ANY OF THIS?? Really? No one from the highschool or wrestling match thinks... hmm spiderman reminds me a lot like that freak from school/wrestling.... HELLO??? Oh and the green goblin goes after his aunt and no one thinks anything weird about the green goblin going after just one little old lady saying the lords prayer in her quite little house alone???

Norman Osborn is the only one that figures out who he is in the whole movie because he has a stratch on his arm... wow Norman must have been a total genius surrounded by IDIOTS!!!

5. No one figures out who the Green Goblin is? Everyone dies around Norman Osborn except him and no one thinks... hmmmmmmmm... maybe....

6. Peter's best friend Harry starts dating Mary-Jane (knowing Peter is in love with her) to get back at Peter cuz Harry's dad likes Peter better? WOW..... And then Harry gets upset when Peter steals her away?? WOW....

7. Macy Gray? Really? Must have been a really low budget... or else they just had to pay Willem Dafoe a lot to be anywhere near the losers casted in the main roles...

8. Okay we'll just skip to the end cuz this would be way too long if i went like this the whole way through the movie.... How inappropriate are these people. Harry's dad dies, Mary Jane dumps him and then confesses her love for his best friend Peter at the funeral. Peter and Mary Jane then make out over the grave of Peter's Uncle??
Are you kidding me? Who raised these people? You would think Aunt may would have taught Peter stealing girlfriends at a funeral is a tacky thing to do and making out over your uncles grave is a little tacky too. And i know Mary jane is supposed to be trash but seriously no one ever told her she would look like a slut/skank if she dumped a guy for his best friend at his fathers funeral and then made out in the grave yard with her new man? god....

Okay I know I've watched the movie way too many times, but my 3 and 2 yr old love it and sometimes you just have to sacrifice your sanity for your kids enjoyment...and then you have to blog about how freaking crazy this movie makes your while your watching it for 2nd time today (and its only 10 am)

Thank my mom

So I'm back... LOL it's only been like a year haha. I've been a little busy with overly dramatic but not really that funny stuff. SOOO Now I'm back, and you can thank my mom because basically if i hear "you need to go back to blogging" one more time i'm gonna scream!!!

Little update to bring you up to speed I did actually get married, moved halfway across the country to texas, and got pregnant again. Hubby and I are expecting a little girl Grace Elizabeth in february of this year (cuz i just can't get enough punishment from the toddlers i need to be woken up every 2 hours on top of it...) and I am no longer working but have decided as of march 08 that i should stay at home with my kids.... yea what the hell was i thinking... Don't worry though this will never be in danger of becoming one of those "my kids are just so precious" mommy blogs.... although i doubt there will be many funny spider stories (seeing as i've decided to hide myself inside most of the year) as I finally have a decent apartment without a spider infestation!! YAY! although I have had some great shower experiences with fire ants but that's for another time. Oh i have to go for now one of the demons is climbing the furniture time to get the squirt bottle again...

Sorry

I'm sorry I have neglected you all for sooooo long, I sencerly apologize.... now you know how my kids feel!!!!

Soooo I'm working on planning my wedding, finally have a date!!! January 12,2008 is the last day of my life..... WOO HOOO

Some girls plan their wedding from the time they are like born, take my Sister B for instance she was born with a wedding planner in one hand and a guest list in the other.... definately not me.

And my sister Kelly yea, she was like super procrastinator, my mom was always yelling at her to get shit done for her own wedding!! Again not me...

As for me.... I really don't care, I know what I don't want but have no idea what I actually do want.... I'm not procrastinating either, I want all this shit planned out and done like yesterday so I can relax and go tanning after work and not have to worry about a damn thing until I go find out my dress doesn't fit me cuz I've been sitting on my fat ass too much. I actually have to bitch at my mom to help me with shit.

I don't care what kind of tux's they have, I'm not the one who has to wear that crap, I dont' care if they all wear black sweat suits and sneakers..... but if they do where sneakers then they have no reason not to dance all night at the reception.

My girls can pick out whatever kind of dress they want as long as it matches... hell i don't even care if it matches.

I'm the only one I care about looking hot :-p (still don't have a mirror :-( but I do have a webcam now so i just turn it on and i can always watch myself while typing) and as for my huny, I don't care what he wears either as long as he shows us for all i care he can wear his old polyester flame button down shirts from highschool, or his tie-dyed dead shirt....as long as he shows up!!!!

I kinda thought Iwould be bridezilla but yea I'm discovering I'm the opposite, I would have just gone to the JOP but then I would miss the day that is ALL ABOUT ME (and him too I guess) and I do get to dress up and look super gorgeous in front of everyone I know.... hmmm maybe I should invite baby daddy number 1 and number 2 .... yea no.....don't want to have to get blood on my dress!!

I look freaking cute today!!!! I love my webcam!!!!

Im so freakin cool

My darling little boy.....

Yea so as you read in my last post how adorable and sweet my terrible two year old is, this happened last night, thought I should share it with you. Don't let his adorable face (looks just like me :-) fool you he is anything but a sweety:

Last night I am talking online to my fiance (in iraq) and Drake is sitting in the living room watching a movie, or so i think, I look out the door to find that he has discovered a brand new huge container of coffee (he's addicted to coffee, thanks to his father's mother but that's another story...) and he has dumped that brand new container alllllllll over the floor. Wish I had a picture for it. He also had a drink, a little bottle of carbonated lemonade (kid pop) which he had also dumped all over the floor, he was sliding through the pop and coffee yelling "WOOOOO WOOO WOOO" ALLL OVER MY HARD WOOD FLOORS!

He is covered head to toe in coffee... YAY..... so I strip him down and throw his crazy little ass in the tub. he always behaves in the tub cuz he knows I'll take him out if he doesn't. I walk into the other room to get Declan (aka the baby) and change him. Drake is laughing and splashing all is good, until i walk back into the room and find out what he is splashing about.... here's the real fun.

It seems as though my sweet angel can now get in and out of the tub on his own!!! I walk back in to find him plunging the tub... literally... this is what he has in the tub with him:
The toilet plunger
The toilet brush
A package of unopened razors that were on the shelf
3 bath towels
1 of the baby's bibs
1 of my high heeled shoes, and also
he has taken off the lid to the baby shampoo and body wash and dumped them in the tub.

He was standing there with the plunger, plunging the tub.... yea.... and he was also yelling "BUBBLES BUBBLES" hahaha

Why did I have kids again?
If someone would have actually explained the terrible two's to me there is no way in HELL I WOULD HAVE HAD KIDS!?!?! So for all you parents of teenagers just share with them this story and it will ensure you are not a young grandmother/father.... I promise.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN NUMBER 2 (yes i finally remembered what day it was!)

Thirteen things that make me wonder if my son is the antichrist.....DRAKE, age 2, 1. Enough Said I believe 2. His little brother starts screaming i run into the room and find the baby (11 mo old) laying on the floor screaming I ask Drake what happened he says "he fell" and as he is saying this he motions like he pushed him. I say "did you push your brother" he laughs looks straight at me, no shame at all and says "YES! I push, he fall down." 3. Declan is 2.5 months old, I hear drake laughing and the baby is quiet so i sneak around the corner to peak at what drake is doing, Drake is singing and dancing for the baby and the baby is smiling and cooing. Drake see's me, stops, looks at the baby disgusted, and kicks him in the head. 4. Drake also likes to step on the babies head. (I'm surprised Declan has made it to 11 months old) 5. I was once woken up at 6 am by drake puring dr. pepper over my head. "MORNING MOMMY, DRINK POPPY!!!!" 6. He thinks it's fun to dump liquid (pop, water, anything) onto the floor and slide around through it, especially after he's already had his bath, and he yells "wooo... woooooo woooooo" the whole time.... some say it's cute and to those people I say you come clean it up while one child is sliding through it and the other one is crawling through it on hands and knees sliding, crying, and then laying in it. Cute my ass.... 7. When asked if he is allowed to hit mommy, he replies "yes" and rolls his eyes like duh, how dumb of me. 8. Once I felt him poking me with something, I turn to see he has reached across the counter somehow knocked the sissors down and is now stabbing me in the side with them. 9. When asking for anything, he starts growling, and yelling for it, if you say yes and don't move fast enough, well lord help you. (Sounds kinda demonic, almost like satans voice on south park) 10. He falls all over everything, so hard you know any other person would get knocked out over it, but him he just laughs and laughs rolls his eyes into his head laughs some more... very frightening. (Kinda like how they say the antichrist dies and comes back to life, only worse, cuz drake never stops, not even to pass out) 11. I ask him if he wants to go to church and he screams and cries and clings to my leg yelling " NO MOMMY NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" (See already a fear of churches at age 2) 12. He tells me damnit and calls me a bitch at two. (I didn't teach him that, must be the devil!!! or my mom) 13. Despite everything else on this list he still is loved by everyone. (The antichrist is also a very loved person) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Always the bridesmaid, soon to be the bride....

The Maid of Honor

Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.